The Jedi Bride
by author2be3
Summary: Picture this... The Princess Bride retold by KotOR characters. William Goldman's epic tale of true love, revenge, fighting, miracles and a WHOLE lot of fourth wall breaking and mind bending nonsense... because why not? Ft. myself and my best friend and fellow author, Armed Truth. I hope you enjoy!


Please note: Towards the end, was supposed to be different character font, but Fanfiction changed that. I had to improvise. Also Armed Truth is the username of my best friend for this website. (No you don't get to know our real names, sorry.)

* * *

(Inside _ARMED TRUTH'S HOUSE_ where ARMED TRUTH is in her room playing _Knights of the Old Republic_ on her laptop. She is waiting for AUTHOR2BE3 to finally come over so they can discuss some of their favorite things like their fanfictions and other nerdy fandoms. There is a knock at her door. Armed Truth gives the okay for the stranger to enter)

Author2be3: (Comes crashing in holding _The Princess Bride_ novelin her hands) ARMED TRUTH! I just had the most insane idea I want to run by you!

Armed Truth: (Getting up from where she is sitting) Well it's good to see you to Author2be3. What's up?

Author2be3: Okay, picture this. (Dramatic pause) _The Princess Bride_ retold by KotOR characters!

Armed Truth: (Pause for a beat) That sounds… strange.

Author2be3: No, no, no. Just hear me out, okay? Look, I can walk you through it right now if you want!

(Before Armed Truth can even say anything Author2be3 goes off on her story.)

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

On the planet of Dantooine there were two young Jedi who were bonded by the Force. Their names were Revan and Bastila.

 _Armed Truth: Wait, so Revan is Westley and Bastila is Buttercup?_

 _Author2be3: Yes and no._

 _Armed Truth: Huh? But how does that-_

 _Author2be3: Wait and let me explain._

Because of their bond, the two women lived like sisters. Always growing and sharing with one another their lives. However, they always differed when it came to ideals. Although one would take the Jedi Council's word as law, the other saw them more as guidelines.

Now when the Mandalorians began conquering small worlds on the outer rim, it was clear to see that the girls would constantly butt heads. But the final straw came when the Mandalorians took a small defenseless Republic planet. After a heated argument, Revan left her best friend for the harsh battle field. With her was several other Jedi and even Revan's idolizer, Malak.

The war raged on for years. And Bastila had heard no word from her friend. It hurt knowing that the last words they shared were so hateful. She began to grow distant from her peers due to the guilt she felt for not supporting Revan. Each day she fled further and further into her loneliness, with only the faint echo of their bond to keep her hope. But that hope was shattered the day Malak and a few other Jedi came back from the ended war. They had brought word of the Dark Lord, who takes no prisoners, had boarded the ship Revan was on… there was no trace left behind. With nothing left to hope for, Bastila was lost in the darkness.

And that, was what Malak preyed on!

He had eyed Bastila since he and the other survivors came back. The way a kath hound eyed a… um… a Lothcat?

 _Armed Truth: Do kath hounds even eat Lothcats?_

 _Author2be3: I don't know. But I needed to complete the metaphor somehow._

 _Armed Truth: Are there even kath hounds on Lothal?_

 _Author2be3: I don't know, now stop derailing the story!_

Five years passed, and Bastila was consumed by darkness, especially with the lies Malak kept feeding her. It wasn't before long, he had her as his bride-to-be.

 _Armed Truth: No._

 _Author2be3: What do you mean, 'No'?_

 _Armed Truth: Jedi can't get married._

 _Author2be3: (slightly aggravated, after a beat) It's a retelling of The Princess BRIDE! You can't expect a faithful retelling if I follow the Jedi's code!_

 _Armed Truth: Okay, whatever._

Although Bastila was mostly empty inside, the only time she felt close to alive was when she made the trek to the old ruins of Dantooine to mediate. On her way over, there were three men standing at her usual spot. One was a young blue twi'lek, behind him was two humans. Both clearly had seen war, but took different views of it. One carried the Mandalorian spirit of fighting, the other carried the pride of a solider.

"Hey uh… excuse us miss." The twi'lek called with a shifty voice. "Are the council or Jedi enclave nearby?" Bastila raised an eyebrow. "No. They aren't within miles of this place." She answered.  
"Ah… good, good. Then no one will hear your screams." He mumbled that last part, but it was loud enough for Bastila to hear and go on the defensive. But the man with the Mandalorian spirit was able to attack her from behind and slap a neural restrainer around her neck. Bastila was out like a light.

The two humans loaded Bastila into their ship. But not before the twi'lek snatched her lightsaber and dropped it in the grass along with an ID from a Sith officer. The Mandalorian looked over at the twi'lek. "Griff, what are you doing?"

Griff looked over at his companion. "Once they notice that Bastila has not returned and they find her lightsaber with a Sith's ID, the Jedi will have no choice but to go to war with the Sith!" The Mandalorian shook his head. Their leader was aggravating, but at least he had him doing something _mildly_ interesting. He still didn't know why the solider was a part of this, but at least he was a skilled warrior.

 _Armed Truth: Okay, so I get that the Mandalorian is Canderous, but who's the solider?_

 _Author2be3: Think about it…_

 _Armed Truth: (after a beat) But WHY?_

 _Author2be3: His similarities to Inigo was too obvious to ignore. Plus I think his fight scene with the figure in black will be hilarious._

 _Armed Truth: But, but, but…. No._

 _Author2be3: (pause for an aggravated beat) Do you want to know what happens next or not?_

 _Armed Truth: (sigh) I guess… (Author2be3 gives Armed Truth a death glare before continuing.)_

The three men began to travel to Korriban, unware of a figure in black following them as they jumped to hyperspace. As they all landed on the planet's rocky surface, it was the solider who noticed their new companion. "Hey Griff." The solider called.

"What is it Carth?" The twi'lek answered. "We're being followed." He said flatly. "That would be inconceivable." Griff said, "Clearly, this person is um… working with Cerka! That's why their here." Carth rolled his eyes. If Griff didn't have the information he needed, he wouldn't be doing this stupid job. Either way, the men moved quickly with a half-conscious Jedi tossed over Candrous's shoulder. Even so, the black figure followed them. The figure was faster than any living being alive and was quickly gaining on Bastila's kidnappers.

"Hurry up!" Griff snapped as the men rushed to the wall lifts.

 _Armed Truth: Wall lifts?_

 _Author2be3: Like the ski lifts but without the skiing. It was better than having Canderous climb up a rope with three people hanging off of him._

 _Armed Truth: Eh, fair enough._

Up, up, up they went. But the figure jumped on his own. With less weight, the figure was making it closer to the top. Griff hammered at the controls to make their lift move faster. By sheer luck, they made it to the top first. It was at that moment, Griff pulled Carth's viroblade from his hip, and dropped it down on the ropes of the black figure's lift. The lift moaned then after a long pause, made a loud crash at the valley floor. Carth took back his viroblade and looked over the edge.

"He didn't fall." He said.  
"What?" Griff called as he came over to his side, "Inconceivable!"  
"Stop using that word!" Canderous snapped, "It doesn't mean what you think it means!"  
"Shut up!" Griff snapped back, "Just take her and let's get moving. Carth, stay here. If he falls, fine! But if he makes it to the top, kill him!"

Canderous looked at Carth as Griff moved on. "Just come back in one piece okay?" "Don't I always?"

"I'm waiting!" Griff barked. Canderous rolled his eyes, secured Bastila over his shoulders and ran off. Carth sat on a rock close to the edge, waiting for his adversary to arrive. He watched him struggled up the cliff for a little while. There was defiantly something off about the man in black. Finally, after what felt like hours Carth called to the cloaked figure.  
"Hello there. I don't suppose you could hurry it up?"

There was a pause, then the black figure looked up at him.  
"Look, I'm sorry about that, but you'll just have to wait. I'm terribly busy at the moment." Oh, that's why the man seemed very strange! Because he was actually a woman.

"Is there any way you can get up here sooner?" Carth called.  
"Well if you want to make this go by any quicker, you be useful and lower a rope or a tree branch or something."  
"I highly doubt you'd want my help, seeing as I'm only waiting here to kill you."  
The woman paused for a moment. "Well, that'll put a damper on our relationship. And what a shame, you're really cute." Carth was taken off guard by that comment. If this woman was supposed to be his enemy, why did she just openly flirt with him? But regardless he still had to wait on her coming to top. He sighed, then looked over to where the ropes had been cut. There looked like enough to pull someone up.

"Well hey, there is some rope up here I can lower to you and lift you up."  
The woman stopped and called after him, "Don't take it personally, handsome. But I don't think I can trust you."  
"I could give you my word as a solider." He offered.  
The woman struggled to reach for the next rock. "No good. I've known too many soldiers."  
Carth paused, then answered, "I swear on the soul of Morgana Onasi, you will reach the top alive."

The woman stopped. "I don't know who this Morgana was, but she sounds very important to you. Lower the rope." Carth moved quickly and rounded up as much of the rope from the lift and lowered it down to her. The woman in black latched on and climbed up with incredible speed. Carth helped her to her feet.

The first thing he noticed was the Mandalorian mask she wore as well as the dark robes that were adjusted by Mandalorian armor. The next thing he took notice was the sharp violet color in her eyes.

 _Armed Truth: She has violet eyes?_

 _Author2be3: Yeah. I was thinking that or silver. Something to make her stand out, ya' know._

 _Armed Truth: I LIKE IT!_

Just as she reached for what was on her hip, he said, "No, we'll fight when you are ready." Now it was the woman's turn to be taken off guard. "Thank you." She said as she sat down to catch her breath. That was when Carth asked, "You wouldn't happen to know anything on Saul Kareth would you?" The woman in black looked at him. "Do you always start off conversations like this?"  
"Saul Kareth destroyed my home world which killed my wife. I want to avenge her and my home's death." The woman shook her head, "I haven't heard of him in five years. Sorry about that."  
"He was my mentor, I have been chasing him down all these years, and I'm almost certain I have him this time. And when I see him all I plan to say is 'You killed my wife in that attack, Saul. And for that, I swear I'll kill you.'"

 _Armed Truth: Really? That's the best you got?_

 _Author2be3: Well he can't go running around saying 'Hello, my name is Carth Onasi, you killed my wife. Prepare to die!' in a Spanish accent now can he? Especially since Carth and Saul already know each other, and what had happened._

 _Armed Truth: True, but really?_

 _Author2be3: That's a direct quote from the game! What more do you want?_

 _Armed Truth: Alright, alright. I'll play along._

"Not to question you on your life's mission, but I don't see how kidnapping a famous Jedi will help in your revenge?" The woman in black asked. Carth sighed, "Well, to be honest, I'm only doing this because Griff said he has information on where Saul Kareth is."

The woman let a laugh escape, "You mean Griff Vao? You actually trust that conman?" He shrugged, "I expect a lowlife like him to know where to find a lowlife like Saul."  
"Alright, but what do you plan to do afterwards?"  
"What?"  
"What do you plan to do with your life after you get your revenge?"  
Carth's mind came to a halt. What would he do after he killed Saul? He always imagined it himself with his own ship and crew. He'd have risked everything, even his own life, just to take Saul out! But here he was on his own, just his skill to take out a mad man.  
"I… really don't know what I'd do." He answered. "His death has been my entire focus for so long."  
The woman shrugged, "There's more to life than revenge. I guess I just don't want you missing out. Anyway, I'm ready when you are." They both stood up. Carth drew his blade with his left hand.

"You seem to be a very interesting woman. I hate to kill you."  
"You seem an interesting man. I hate to die." From there, she unclipped a hilt from her belt with her left hand and a blue lightsaber hummed to life! Carth was immediately surprised, but he did his best to hide it. Now THIS would be a challenge. "Never fought a Jedi before." He said coolly. Although Carth couldn't see it, the woman smirked behind her mask. "I'm honored to give you this fight then."

 _Armed Truth: So, She's a guardian._

 _Author2be3: Eh… sure._

 _Armed Truth: What do you mean sure?_

 _Author2be3: Well having a lightsaber that matches your eyes sounds stupid to me, the color orange is obnoxious, silver doesn't sound right to me, and yellow is Bastila's color. So it's stereotypical green or blue._

 _Armed Truth: Why can't it be silver? It shows how she's not really associated with the Jedi, and it still makes her unique._

 _Author2be3: Okay, okay. It's silver then._

She flashed her _silver_ lightsaber, beckoning her opponent to make the first move. The battle began with small but quick strikes and parries. Once both gained their footing, the fight became more intense. They were climbing, jumping, kicking, you name it. But it was clear that the woman had the upper hand. As they continually crossed blades, the woman backed Carth up to the edge.

"I must say, you're a wonderful fighter." He commented. "I wouldn't expect anything less from a Jedi."  
"If that's the case, then why are you smiling?" The woman said skeptically.  
"Because I know something you don't."  
"And what's that?"  
"I am not left handed." And with that, he tossed his viroblade into his right hand, and almost instantly, the battle had turned. But even so, not one scratch was made on either fighter. Carth continued to push forward until he had her cornered. "I must say, you are amazing. But I think I ought to tell you something."  
"And what's that?" He asked.  
"I'm not left handed either." At that moment, the woman flicked her lightsaber off, tossed the hilt into her right hand, and reawakened the blade. The tables turned yet again! But even in the thrill of combat, for one second, the woman misjudged his steps. At that moment, his sword was able to knock her mask off.

Woah.  
The woman acted quickly not to reveal her face, but from what little Carth saw, she was beautiful. But that face was quickly covered up once again by the Mandalorian mask. "Who are you?" Carth asked.  
"No one of consequence." She said quickly. "I must know." He demanded. "Get used to disappointment." She winked. The sparring went on, and this time the woman was much more observant to the battle. And it wasn't before long that the woman spotted Carth's common error. Immediately she exploited it! The battle was hers.

Having knocked away his viroblade and dropping him to his knees, the woman in black had him at her mercy. With nothing left Carth uttered, "Kill me quickly."  
"You must think I have a heart of stone to cut down the most skilled man I've ever met. However, since I can't have you following me." She struck his head, knocking him out cold. "Please understand that I hold you in the highest respects." She blew him a kiss before running after Bastila and her captors.  
Griff and Canderous took notice quickly. Canderous himself actually felt a bit disturbed. Not only because he was starting to grow a bit of an attachment to Carth, but also because he hadn't expected the black figure to get past his companion.

Either way the figure was gaining on them. "Inconceivable!" Griff snapped which boiled Canderous's blood even more. Griff snatched Bastila from Canderous's grasp and barked, "Take care of him quickly! Don't worry about facing him, just kill him from behind!" Canderous made a quick spit, "I ain't doing that. If he bested Carth, he's worthy of my skills head on!" "Whatever, just deal with him!" Griff snarled as he dragged Bastila away. Canderous pulled out his blaster rifle and waited.

In came the figure in black and Canderous fired a shot from his blaster so close, it almost took the figure's head off. They stopped dead in their tracks and turned their attention to the Canderous, still holding his heavy duty blaster rifle. He eyed his opponent. He was much more interested now that he got a better look at the figure. A woman with stolen Mandalorian armor meant she could handle anything. "That didn't have to miss." He called. "I believe you," The woman said, "But what happens now?"

"You bested Carth, and clearly another Mandalorian. So we'll fight like true warriors, the way it was meant to be." The woman pondered this for a moment, "So, You'll put down that blaster and I'll put down my saber, and we try to kill each other like civilized people?" "It doesn't have to be civilized. I could just kill you now." "No, I'm always up for a challenge. Though to be fair, I see you having the greater advantage here."

The woman tossed her lightsaber to the side, just as Canderous dropped his blaster rifle. The woman watched him carefully. She took the first charge at him. Immediately, he gripped her. He lifted her over his head and quickly twisted her back the wrong way, along with her neck until she went limp and he tossed her remains away.

 _Armed Truth: WHAT?! That's not right!_

 _Author2be3: Do you want me to go on or not?_

 _Armed Truth: I'm telling you, you told that part wrong! Now GET IT RIGHT!_

 _Author2be3: (rolls eyes) I think I would know how to tell my own retelling of a story._

 _Armed Truth: (angry face) What do you have planned?_

 _Author2be3: Well if you calm down, (aside) a maybe pay attention to the opening text, (to ARMED TRUTH) you would know I'm also pulling from the book. Not just the movie._

 _Armed Truth: Wait? Fezzik killed Westley in the book?_

 _Author2be3: No! Now just listen!_

Or at least that's what Canderous _would_ have done. The woman in black was quick. She slipped from his grasp before her feet even left the ground. The same process happened yet again. No matter what Canderous did, he just couldn't keep a hold on her. "I must say, you're pretty fast." Canderous said.  
"That's a good thing." The woman muttered trying to think her way through the next grapple. "So tell me. Why do you don a mask of my people?" Canderous asked. The woman shrugged, "I fought a Mandalorian to the death and won, so I took it. Plus they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future." She mused.

Canderous wasn't too fond of that last comment. "He died with honor then." He said. "I never met a man of his equal." She responded. The woman picked up her speed and jumped from behind and gripped Canderous's neck tightly, slowly cutting off circulation. In desperation, he slammed her against a few rocks, but she held on. "Exploited my blind spot I see." Canderous said through the choking. Soon enough, the Mandalorian fell. The woman in black quickly let go and checked his vitals. He was still alive.

"I don't envy the headache you'll have soon. But you shouldn't die during this pathetic attempt of a kidnapping. So rest well, dream of the grand days of the Mandalorians." With that, she grabbed her lightsaber and ran after the last captor and the Jedi Knight Bastila.

It didn't take long to catch up to the conman Griff. It didn't help that he had a picnic all set up waiting for her. No seriously, what kidnapper with an agenda does that?! And more importantly where did he carry all that? Why did he carry all that? Did he plan to get stopped by someone and thought how great it would be to have a picnic with them? Was he going to have a picnic after he killed Basitila? What kind of freak has some lunch after he kills someone?!

 _Armed Truth: Author2be3, you're derailing your own story._

 _Author2be3: Whoops, sorry._

Anyway, he sat there with a blindfolded and restrained Bastila. "So, it is down to you, and it is down to me." Griff said. The woman in black took a step forward. "Oh, by all means," Griff continued, "take another step forward if you want to see her dead." The woman eyed him, "Just let me explain." She said, before being interrupted by Griff, "There's nothing to explain! You clearly want to kidnap what I have rightfully stolen!" She took another step forward. Griff pulled out a dagger and shoved it at Bastila's neck shouting, "You're killing her!"

The woman in black stopped. "Well, if we can't come to an agreement, then it appears we are at an impasse." "I'm afraid so," Griff said rather snarky, "I can't compete with your strength, and you can't compete with my brain." The woman suppressed her laughter. "You're that smart? Last I checked Griff the conman could hardly get his way through most of his own messes." "That was my first reputation, I have grown much cleverer now." The woman smiled behind her poor kid really believed in that didn't he. "Well if that's the case, then I challenge you to a battle of wits."

"For the Jedi?" She nodded. "To the death?" She nodded again. "I accept!" He said putting the small blade away and began to pour his special blend of Terrisan ale. However, since Griff knew nothing about brewing such a thing, it not only smelled bad, it tasted bad too. The woman in black tried not to show off her wincing at the smell. She reached in her pocket for her small flask. "What you see in this container is irksh poison. It kills instantly. And with your *ahem* potent ale, it will be impossible to taste or smell it." She took both cups and turned her back to Griff. She turned back and placed the cups side-by-side in front of Griff.

"Alright, which cup has the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide which glass the poison is in and we both drink. We'll determine the winner by who is right, and who is dead." Griff sat on her deal for a moment. "It so simple! I only have to deduce what I know of you and what I know of me."

The woman stared at him, a little worried as to where this was going. "Now a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because only a great fool would reach for what was given to him. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the cup in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the cup in front of me."

"So, your choice is…?" The woman asked.

"I'm not done yet! Irkish poison come from the Malkite Poisoners. And as everyone knows, they are a guild full of criminals. And criminals are used to people not trusting them, and you are not trusted by me. So I can clearly not choose the cup in front of you."

"You're talking in circles, you know that right?" The woman said with slight irritation.

"Wait 'till I get going! What was I saying-" "Malkite Poisoners." "Right, them! You must have suspected I would have known the poison's origin so I can clearly not choose the cup in front of me."

"Are you done stalling?" The woman's patients was running short.

"You'd like to think that wouldn't you! You've beaten my Mandalorian, which means you're exceptionally strong. So you could have relied on your strength to save you. So I can clearly not choose the cup in front of you. But you've also bested by solider, which means you must have studied, and in studying you learned that we are all mortal. So you would have put the poison as far away from yourself as possible. So I can clearly not choose the cup in front of me!"

"Um… are you trying to make me give away something? Because it's not working." The woman was pretty much tired of this charade.

"It has worked! You've given everything away!"  
"So you've finally made your choice?"  
"I have and I choose- wait, what's that?" The woman turned quickly. There was nothing there. "I didn't see anything." Griff began to laugh. The woman's eyes narrowed. "What's so funny?" "Nothing. Let's drink. Me from my glass, and you from yours."

The woman shrugged, and took the cup. Both took only a sip, since previously stated, Griff can't brew ales. After the unpleasant sip, and even more unpleasant aftertaste, the woman said, "You guessed wrong."  
"You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched the cups when you weren't looking. You fell for one of the most classic of blunders! The most famous is never get into a land war with the Mon Calamari, but even less known is never go against a conman when death is on the line! Haha-"

 _Armed Truth: Why Mon Calamari?_

 _Author2be3: I thought it was a great use of irony. Plus what is the equivalent to Asia in the Star Wars universe?_

 _Armed Truth: I think that's racist._

 _Author2be3: Oh…_

Griff collapsed instantly. The woman moved to Bastila and removed her restrainers as well as the blindfold. Bastila's mind was wild with questions. She noticed Griff lying on the ground in horror. "The poison was in your cup? You killed him!" The woman in black rolled her eyes, "Oh please, you think I'm a murderer? That wasn't poison. It was a sleeping agent I cooked up. Besides, both cups were poisoned. I just had the antidote tablet hidden under my tongue. Now come on. We have to go before Malak shows up."

" _When_ my fiancé shows up, you'll be sorry." Bastila snapped. The woman in black shuttered dramatically. "Does it _not_ make you sick thinking that that creep is your fiancé?" She asked, "Seriously what do you even like about that guy?!" Bastila stopped for a moment, "I never said I liked him. There really isn't anything I care about much these days…" The woman in black pulled on her, forcing Bastila to run. "You actually admit this to a stranger? Your life must be miserable…" Bastila's anger grew, "What does it matter to you?!"

"Careful Bastila, remember your training." The woman said rather jokingly. Bastila's head felt like it was going to explode! What was with this woman? But one thing was for certain, she wasn't going to be another person's prisoner. Noticing the lightsaber attached to the woman in black's belt, Bastila moved quickly and stole the lightsaber from her. She flicked the blade on and pointed the tip at woman's neck. She recognized the saber instantly. "This was my best friend's lightsaber… You… you're the Dark Lord?!"

The woman shrugged, "So it would seem." She pulled her other saber out and clashed with Bastila's blade. "I don't quite remember everything about this friend of yours. But she did go down honorably, if it'd pleases you. Died learning that not everything was as it seemed. And now I find her best friend with a slime ball to match the heartlessness she truly is!" The women began to fight furiously with their lightsabers. The more they fought, the more Bastila started to notice something. That style of fighting was familiar… She found and opening and knocked the woman in black over. But not before the woman was able to knock Bastila over too. The fall caused both to tumble down the edge of a cliff into a valley.

How did this woman know how she fought? Then she felt the echo of a long lost feeling.

That was when it clicked.

After both the women landed at the bottom the valley, Bastila quickly got up and ran over to the woman in black. She reached for the mask. But not before the woman in black mockingly shouted, "No, no… I'm hideous!" Bastila stopped and rolled her eyes. "You're full of it, Revan! You know that?!" Revan laughed as she took off the mask. "I'm sorry, I would have told you sooner, but you started freaking out about Griff, I wanted to see how long it would take."

"But Malak said-" "Psshh, that coward ran before the battle was even over. He never would have seen me take out the 'Dark Lord' so easily." Bastila flinched, "You defeated the Dark Lord?" Revan shook her head, "It was just a henchman. I spent the past couple of years trying to track him down. Couldn't find a trace of him. I came back when I heard you were _engaged_ to _Malak_." She paused, "I guess you could say I had a bad feeling about this. And I guess I was right. You would have been murdered had I not saved you."

"Save me? I had the situation under control! I was about to save myself!" Revan slowly turned her head and glared at Bastila, "At what part did you have the situation under control? When you were being manhandled by the Mandalorian or when you had that knife at your neck?"

"I would have figured something out!" "Uh-huh… Anyway, we better move. There's no telling how close Malak is now." Bastila chose to not fight her friend anymore and ran with her. "So where are we going?" She asked as they kept running. "There's a ship yard close by. Crekza's not very good with security. We can take one and head to Corrisant until everything can get smoothed out." Revan answered. "Wait!" She said stopping their mad sprint.

"Someone cut off the canyon." Revan muttered. "What do you mean?" Bastila asked. "Those rocks didn't fall naturally. Someone did it manually. That means someone sabotaged our quick getaway." Bastila frowned. "So, we're walking into a trap?"  
"Then we'll just go through the tombs. We can figure our next move there. Let's hurry before we get ambushed." Revan took Bastila's wrist and with a burst of energy from the Force, rushed to the nearest tomb entrance. As the tomb door sealed behind them everything went black.  
Revan checked the door. Locked.

"Well, we can't retreat now. The only way we can go is forward." She said. Revan ignited her silver lightsaber. Once she could see, she handed Bastila her spare saber. Bastila turned it on and followed her friend deep into the dark ruins. "So… where's your lightsaber?" Revan asked out of the blue. Bastila's face turned red. "I….well… they stole it from me…" She mumbled. Revan staid quite. Bastila was half expecting Revan to poke fun of her for it. Maybe a 'Oh don't worry, I'm sure you had it _under control_.' But Revan didn't say a word. Finally she said, "Sorry about that. If I had known I would have searched Griff or his goons for it."

"It's fine." Bastila muttered. Revan sighed, "Hey, should we talk about what we said last time…?" "What do you mean?" Bastila asked. "I mean… we ended on a really bad note. And I mean _really bad_. Not all friends depart damning the other to Hell." Bastila sighed, "I know… that's been bothering me the past five years actually… I feel like I should have been supportive of you instead of tearing you down like that."

Revan shook her head, "No, I was stubborn. I sometimes need someone to step in my way to help me know my limits. But I should have let you know what was going on during the war. I shouldn't have been sitting in my anger at you like that."  
"It seems it's both our faults then?" Bastila offered, "If I say sorry, will you?"  
Revan smiled, "Sure." At the same time they said, "Sorry…" They shared a hug then kept moving. Instantly they ran into their first trap.

"We have to deactivate those droids on the far side of the room." Revan observed.  
"The moment we cross that beam into the bridge, they'll turn on." Bastila noted. The woman scoped out the far side of the room to find out how to keep the droids from activating. Finally Revan's eyes settled on the lever across the room. "There!" She said. In that moment, Revan used the Force to pull the lever down. The lever clicked and in the same instant, the droids self-destructed. They crossed the bridge safely and headed to the next room.

It was quite at first. But the Jedi knew better. Their lightsabers ready, they watched and waited for the-

ATTACK!

A small group of Tuk'ata jumped them. They swarmed the two, but they fought on. It all seemed to be going well until Bastila heard Revan cry out. She turned quickly to see a Tuk'ata had clawed at Revan's shoulder. Acting quickly, Bastila slammed her lightsaber into the Tuk'ata's head, killing it on the spot. Bastila fought off the last of them as Revan did her best to patch herself up with the Force and her cloak. Once they were taken care of, Bastila faced Revan and helped her up. "Are you alright?"

Revan goaned, "I've been better, but to be fair, I've also been worse…" "I'm just grateful Tuk'ata claws aren't poisonous." Bastila responded. "Couldn't agree more, Bastila."

They looked forward, "We're almost out." Revan stated. "What should we do?" Bastila asked. "Well, to be honest, I didn't anticipate getting injured on my arm." Revan muttered, "That's going to put our odds at a disadvantage." "We might have to improvise then won't we?" Bastila commented. "Sounds familiar doesn't it?" Revan laughed. She put her hand on Bastila's shoulder. "You ready for this?" she asked, looking her friend dead in the eyes. Bastila nodded firmly. "Just like old times." She smiled.

The two walked to the exit with their heads held high. The light was a drastic change to the dark they were in. In that instant, the women were surrounded. Revan however, had her vision focused on the head of the pack, Malak. Her eyes narrowed as they looked at each other. "Surrender!" He snapped.

"Oh, you wish to surrender to me? I'll gladly accept, you coward." Revan hissed. "You openly insult me? In front of my men? HA-HA-HA, why don't you make this easier on yourself and just hand over Bastila!"  
"Death FIRST!" Revan growled.

Bastila stepped forward, "Will you promise not to hurt her?"  
"What was that?" Both Revan and Malak asked.  
"If I go with you, will you promise not to hurt her?" Bastila bargained. Malak sighed, "I swear I will do no harm to her. May I never use my jaw again, should that happen."

 _Author2be3: Before you ask, it's before Malak loses his jaw._

 _Armed Truth: Oh! So that's what do the pain means!_

 _Author2be3: Shhhh! Spoilers!_

Revan looked at Bastila in shock. Bastila only passed a message through their bond.  
 _We're surrounded. But we can think of another way to get out of this mess._

Revan nodded, but she wasn't sure it would be this easy to escape this. Malak rushed over on his swoop bike and lifted Bastila onto it and carried her away. From the back of the pack, a familiar man on a swoop bike came forward. "Saul Kareth." Revan said sourly, "I didn't think you ended up working for Malak now."  
"Oh come now Revan." He replied rather coolly, "You can't suspect me of much now, can you? But we mustn't waste time on this. We must return you to safety as Bastila asked." Revan only rolled her eyes, "Lies may be becoming of you, but they won't work on me."  
"Very well then." Saul signaled a few of the men off their speed bikes and slowly approached Revan.  
"Oh by the way, there was a man looking for you. A soldier, focused on his revenge on you. I'd be wary." Revan said rather coy. Saul only scoffed, "You speak of the man who served under me. His lust for revenge has left him blind and foolish. Should I ever run into him, it will be easy to end him."

Revan only laughed, "You seem to underestimate the great skill he possesses." "Enough talk! Men, take her!"

And everything faded to black.

Revan awoke within a deactivated torture cage and a young blue twi'lek who made a striking resemblance to Griff. Revan was too sore to try to run, that and she didn't know where she was. The twi'lek began examining Revan's wound. "Who are you?" Revan asked. The twi'lek responded in a whisper, "Mission." She said. She began to clean the wound. "This doesn't look too bad. I can mend it to the best of my ability."  
"Why are you helping me?" Revan asked.  
"Saul likes to torcure his prisoners at full health (that sadist)." Mission muttered.

 _Armed Truth: You miss spelled_ 'torture' _._

 _Author2be3: (Gives Armed Truth a bewildered look) We're getting that meta?!  
_  
"You don't like him?"  
"My idiot brother bet me against Saul… obviously he lost." Revan paused for a moment. "Your brother wouldn't happen to be the conman Griff, would he?"

"Yeah." Mission frowned.  
"Sorry to hear that. I just recently ran into him. He seems easy to outsmart."  
"Yup. That would be Griff."

"So are you stuck just being Saul's assistant?" Revan asked as Mission began to place Kolto on Revan's wound. "Pretty much. It sucks, but I did make friends with a wookie he captured. I call him big Z."  
There was a moment of silence between the two. Finally Mission asked, "So why are you in here?"  
Revan winced a bit from Missions final patch job on her arm. "I tried to rescue Bastila from Malak." Mission's eyes went wide. " _You're_ the one who tried to kidnap Bastila Shan?!"  
"And I almost got away with it." Revan said proudly. Mission nodded, "Hey if it was a way to undermine Malak and Saul, I'm all for it."

Mission leaned in to whisper in Revan's ear, "Big Z and I are planning on pulling an escape soon. We can take you with us if you want." Before Revan could answer, Saul walked in. "Ah, good to see my new prisoner is making herself comfortable. Tail-head, get away from her." Mission frowned at Saul's command. Saul walked up to her cage. "Let me guess," Revan said, "I'm to be tortured and questioned, right?" Saul nodded. "Good to know when a prisoner knows her place."  
"I don't cut corners." Revan said mockingly. "Then let's begin. This machine has been tested on many, but few have survived past level 5. I have a good feeling about you though. Perhaps one day this machine may make it to farther, but let's just start with the basics. Girl," He barked at Mission, "Activate the shield barriers."

Mission flicked a switch on the side of the cage and the hum of a yellow laser shield surrounded her. Saul went clicking away on a nearby terminal. Revan struggled to stand up, but in that instant a skull splitting sensation overwhelmed her. She fought to stand up with everything she had. It felt like a losing battle. Finally the pain stopped.  
"I always found pain an interesting subject growing up." Saul informed, "I spent years developing this new form of torture. I'm still in the perfecting process. Now tell me, and be honest, this is for science. How do you feel?"  
All Revan could do was moan.  
"Interesting. Now let's give it one more go." He pressed a button on his terminal and the pain surrounded Revan once more.

Bastila jolted awake. That was more than just a nightmare. And she was defiantly going to get to the bottom of this! She got up and sped off to Malak's quarters. She didn't even bother to knock. Bastila burst through the door and asked, "What happened to Revan?" Malak, completely caught off guard, did his best to offer a confused face. "What are you talking about? I left her with my second in command, to be returned to a ship in all safety." He said lying through his teeth. Bastila wasn't buying it. "Who's your second in command?"  
Malak thought for a moment. He had to be careful with this. "I don't think you ever met him. But no matter, when he arrives I'm sure you can be introduced. Now I have something very important to take care of." He quickly escorted Bastila out but before he could close the door she snapped, "I'll find out what's really going on here!" He sealed the door shut. Bastila wouldn't stand for this. She quickly rushed down the hallway to find some answers from someone.

Meanwhile, back in Malak's room. He clicked a holocommunicator on. A bald man dressed in black appeared. "Bandon," Malak said, "I want you to clear the docking bays. Make sure no ships from Korriban go unchecked. I don't want any Sith to ruin my special day."  
"What would make your day so special sir?" Bandon asked. Malak laughed, "It's the day Bastila will either become my apprentice or die. In doing so, the Jedi will have to go to war with the Sith, unaware that I am the true Sith Lord pulling the strings of war!" Bandon smiled darkly, "As you command my lord. I will build a brute squad immediately."

 _Armed Truth: Wait, did you just rip off the prequels?_

 _Author2be3: Um...actually I didn't think about that. I was just messing with The Princess Bride plot. Oh no! Am I… becoming GEORGE LUCAS!?_

 _Armed Truth: Calm down. I'm sure it's nothing. Please continue._

 _Author2be3: Alright, then…_

Bandon rounded up the fieriest men available. After a short meeting with Malak's second in command, the brute squad was sent out. They turned over every ship yard, any suspicious man or woman, to follow out Malak's commands. It was a few days before the wedding, and the Bandon's Brute Squad was still searching and arresting anyone they found guilty. As two of the men were rounding up the next hanger, one of them spotted something familiar. Now obviously it was a ship, but it was the fact that this particular brute had an annoyed feeling as to who this one belonged to. Without even asking permission from his superiors, the brute marched up the ramp of the vessel. Half expecting to see an annoying blue twi'lek, the brute was surprised to not find him there. After a bit of searching, the brute was able to find someone he wasn't quite expecting. There passed out in the pilot seat, was a soldier in an obnoxious orange jacket.

 _Armed Truth: Orange isn't that bad of a color, you know._

 _Author2be3: Nope. Orange is obnoxious. So let it be written, so let it done! (ARMED TRUTH only rolls her eyes)_

"Damn Carth, what happened?" The brute said. Carth jolted awake. The massive headache he got from his hangover wasn't doing so well for him. After rubbing his temple, he looked to the man who called him out. "Canderous? What the hell are you doing here?" Canderous sat down in the co-pilot's seat. "I could ask you the same question. What, did you go joy-riding drunk recently or something?"

Carth glared as Canderous. "I'm not that stupid." He grunted, "I came over here because I was following that idiot of a leader's orders. Griff said if we get separated, we go back to the beginning. He took too long so I started drinking." Canderous laughed, "Good to see you haven't changed all that much." Canderous' face got serious, "You shouldn't be waiting for Griff. He ain't coming back." Even with Carth's groggy senses, he could still react quickly to that comment. "What do you mean 'not coming back'?!"

Canderous leaned back in his chair, "The plan failed. He lost Bastila. He wasn't going to face the failure to our employer. So he ran for it, the coward." Carth punched the dashboard. "That coward was my only way to get to Saul Karath!" Canderous leaned in towards Carth, "No he isn't." Carth looked back at him. "What do you know?" "Saul Karath is secretly working for Malak as his second in command." He smiled deviously, "I'll tell what you want to know, if you let me take him down with you." Carth raised a brow, " _You_ want to help _me?_ " Canderous shrugged rather smugly, "You usually go to fights that are worthy of my skill. It's either that, or you can sit around and mope off you sorry drunk-"

"Alright fine! So long as I get to finish Saul."  
"Deal." The two shook hands and they were a team once again.  
"So," Canderous began, "How do you plan to take him?" Carth pondered this for a moment. "I think, we need someone else to help us." "Did you have that _someone_ else in mind?" Canderous asked. Carth sighed, "If we could find that woman in black." Canderous snorted, "This isn't because your love sick or anything is it?" Carth's face turned red for a moment, but he shook it off. "No, because she bested all of us and was able to kidnap back Bastila. If we could find her, she could help us."

Canderous sat on this for a moment. To be honest, he was a bit antsy to see her again too. To have bested not only two Mandalorians, but also a skilled soldier (and I guess Griff counts for something too…) this woman meant business. "You know. I found somebody on the brute squad who knows what happened to her. Last I heard, she and the Jedi got caught by Malak and his men. I'm willing to bet Malak won't let her get away with that." Carth nodded. "Then we'll search the grounds. I bet you there's a hidden prison somewhere around here." The two men got up and headed out.

Meanwhile, Bastila was nodding off as she was staring at database screen. Encryption took forever to crack. The screen changed and Bastila was on alert. Finally! The file was complete. She skimmed over it quickly. It was when her eyes caught the name of the man she was looking for.

 _Saul Karath, second in command to Lord Malak_.

Bastila's anger fumed. She wasn't going to be played like this. Malak was going to get it! And she marched off to find him. Once she got to his quarters, Bastila forced the door open and with an angry face she snapped. "I know you kidnapped Revan! I know she's being tortured by Saul Karath _your_ second in command! And I won't stand for any of it!" Malak rose from his seat, completely dumbstruck by what Bastila had said. "What makes you say that, Bastila?"

Nope, Bastila wasn't falling for it. "I found your encrypted files. You're such a coward you hide your own information from the Jedi." Malak got angry. "What did you just call me?" Bastila got a bit of a thrill calling Malak that. "You're a coward." She said flatly, "And Revan was right, you were too afraid to fight and she took down your 'dark lord' easily. You fail in comparison to her."

"I'd watch my tongue if I were you." Malak warned. Bastila didn't, "Why? Because you'll never be as good as her? Is that why you tried to settle for me? You figured because of our bond it would take away your cowardice?"

That was the straw that broke the Bantha's back. In a blind fury, Malak gripped Bastila with the Force and pushed her into her quarters. Still riding on his aggravation, Malak stormed off to the hidden entrance to his prison. There he saw Revan, weak but still alive, within her cell. Saul was still recording her sufferings for the day. In an instant he was standing in front of her, eyes narrowing. "You were always so much trouble, you know. Always trotting over everyone underneath you. You could have been so much if you had just accepted me!"  
"No thanks," Revan whispered, "tall, pale and pathetic isn't my type…"

"Now, not only will you suffer, but you'll never be able to save Bastila!" Malak hissed.  
"Don't you… EVER… underestimate Bastila…" Revan said weakly.

Malak's fury flared. In a second he was at the terminal and turned it up all the way. "No!" Saul shouted, "Not to 20!" Revan cried out an impressive wail of pain. The cry could be heard almost everywhere on Dantooine. When Canderous and Carth heard it, they knew that prison they were looking for was close. They ran to the source. While the men were rushing for their answer, Bastila knew what it was the moment she heard it… felt it. Her bond couldn't lie to her. She could feel Revan dying. For what felt like hours Revan and Bastila were suffering until the screaming stopped. Bastila could feel her heart stop.

Revan was dead.

Malak left in a satisfied 'huff'.

 _Armed Truth: Sheesh, what a drama queen._

 _Author2be3: Yeah… don't worry. He'll get what's coming to him._

Saul looked over the body of Revan. "What a shame. She lasted so long during all that torture. She even lived longer than I expected at the highest setting." He looked over to Mission on the other side of the room, "Dispose of this, tail head." He barked. Mission sighed and started to walk over to the cage. "How am I supposed to open it?" She asked, "I'll need your key to deactivate the locks and remove the shield." Saul groaned and walked over to the terminal. Mission followed and leaned over him. After a bit of fiddling with the terminal, the cage released Revan's body and deactivated the shield. "There." Saul snapped, "Now go take care of her!" He left her alone. Mission smiled, albeit a little sadly. Stealing Saul's key was only accomplished by a horrible act she didn't quite expect to happen. After she freed Zalbarr they would give Revan the burial she deserved.

Mission rushed to the floor above her and released the wookie. Zalbarr roared, _"Where is the woman you said would come with us?"_ Mission looked at him with sad eyes. "She didn't make it. Can you help me take her and burry her?" Zalbarr nodded and they headed back to Revan's cell where they carefully picked her up and carried her to the surface through the secret passage. As Mission opened the door, she was greeted with a sword to the face. In that instant, she thought Saul had come back for nabbing his key from him.

But that fear was changed to confusion when she saw who was actually holding the viroblade. "Where is the woman in black?" The man in the obnoxious orange jacket ordered.

 _Armed Truth: Do you really need to keep adding that?_

 _Author2be3: Don't ruin my fun!_

Mission was confused at first, but then she realized who he (and she was guessing that Mandalorian) were asking for. Mission only stepped aside to show them Zalbarr carrying her lifeless body to them. Both men were shattered in that moment. But Carth took it a whole other way. The excitement of taking out Saul Karath, the hope of seeing the woman in black again, a future she got him thinking about… Carth was the first one to run up to her as Zalbarr laid her on the ground. There wasn't anything left. Carth wasn't settled on letting it end here. He had heard a rumor of someone who could help. He looked to Canderous.

"I have an idea. Are you up for traveling to another planet?" Carth asked. Canderous shot him a confused look, "Sure. Why?" Carth sighed, "I just hope it's enough time to have a miracle. But we have to hurry." He looked to Mission and Zalbarr, "Thank you for bringing her to us." "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Mission said, "You're just going to take Revan and leave me and Big Z behind? No way! If you're going to save her, we're coming too!" Zalbarr roared in agreement. Canderous laughed, "I don't think you have a choice in this Carth. They're coming with us." Carth reluctantly agreed. They all piled into Griff's ship (or was it Carth's now?) and headed for Kashyyyk. Specifically, the true surface of Kashyyyk.

"What are we doing down here, Carth?" Mission asked. "I don't know if you ever heard of Miracle Jolee, have you?" He answered, "They say after he left the order, he went into exile onto the surface of Kashyyyk." "Hey Carth," Canderous called, "I think we found it!" The others rushed on ahead. There before them, was a small hut under a tree. Carth nodded to Canderous, who began to slam his fist against the door. "Go away, we're closed." A grouchy voice called. Carth slammed his fist against the door even harder than Canderous did.

A small panel on the door opened up. An old man appeared in the opening, "Look I already told you we're closed." "Is it true that you're the miracle man Jolee?" Canderous asked. "I was until I left the order because of that annoying Malak. And thank you so much for reminding a poor old man such terrible memories. Any other stupid questions?" Jolee answered sourly. "Can you work a miracle for us?" Carth begged.

"I haven't been working for years." Jolee frowned, "Do you really want to risk that? I could kill the very person you want to miracle." Mission piped up, "But you don't have to worry about that! She's already dead!" Jolee stared at the twi'lek girl for a moment. "Already dead, huh? I can take a look." He closed the small panel and opened the whole door. Carth carried Revan's corpse into the room and laid her on the miracle table. Everyone piled into the small room in the hut. Jolee picked up Revan's arm and let it drop. As it hit the table Jolee looked up at them, "I've seen worse." Jolee began searching the rest of his hut. "So tell me, how much is miracling this woman worth to ya'?"

Suddenly everyone was dumbstruck. At least until Mission brewed up a quick lie, "She… uh… needs to get back to her family. Her daughter is ill and her husband is a dead beat." Jolee stared at for a moment, "You're a terrible liar."

 _Armed Truth: No._

 _Author2be3: What now?_

 _Armed Truth: Mission is a brilliant liar!_

 _Author2be3: Oh geez, are you kidding me? I know she is, that's why she's the only one who did! Jolee is just clever. Okay?_

 _Armed Truth: Alright, fine. I'll give that one to you._

"I need her help so I can get revenge on Saul Karath." Carth said quickly. Jolee stared at Carth for a moment. "Her lie was better. Since no one here wants to be honest with the old man, I'll just ask her." Jolee went to grab a strange device and began fixing it in Revan's mouth. "How can she tell you anything? She's dead." Canderous grunted. Jolee rolled his eyes, "Oh well don't _you_ know everything, sonny. What you don't realize is that there are three parts to death. Sort of dead, Mostly dead, and all dead. Now since she's sort of dead, she has enough life left in her to talk. Mostly dead will be tricky but can still be saved. And once she's all dead, there's only one thing you can do..."

"What's that?" Mission asked. Jolee had a dark smile, "Look for lose credits." After Jolee had settled the device, he yelled in Revan's ear. "Hey! Hello in there, what's so important that's worth living for?" Revan was able to answer with a whisper, "To save a best friend…" "She wants to saver her best friend, you can't find a cause more worth mircaling than that." Carth said definitively. "What? Why would shaving a beast on Friday be worth that?!"

"LIAR!" A cathar woman shouted from behind the others. Jolee looked shocked, "Be gone witch!" He shouted at her. "I'm not a witch, I'm your apprentice! But after what you just said, I'm not even sure I want to be that anymore!" Jolee seemed aggravated with the Cathar, "Juhani not now, I'm busy." Juhani looked like she was about to bust a vain, "She wants to save her friend Jolee and you know it! That's why we should help them!" Jolee tried his best to wave her off but she kept going, "He's been like this ever since Malak caused a bit of a scene with the Jedi-" "Juhani! What did I say about mentioning that name in this hut?!"

"What name? ...Malak?" Juhani teased.

And thus a long winded and pointless argument went on between master and apprentice which mostly consisted of Juhani shouting the same name over and over again with her master constantly talking over her. That was until Carth finally said, "If you help her, she can ruin Malak's wedding. His bride is her best friend." Jolee and Juhani's argument stopped, "Wait so you mean, I heal her and Malak suffers?"  
"Humiliations galore!" Canderous added. "Now _that_ , is a worthy cause." Jolee stated. In that instant, Jolee and Juhani went to work creating a miracle pill.

After a couple of hours or so had passed, the pill was made. "What's that you're putting on it?" Mission asked looking over Juhani's shoulder. "Chocolate coating. It helps the pill go down easier. There, it is ready." Jolee was looking over the body, "Eh… we might have to act fast. She's slipped into mostly dead. Juhani, get me that pill!" Juhani rushed over with the miracle pill and the two force fed it to her.  
"How long do we have until she wakes up?" Canderous asked. The 'corpse' on the table jolted awake. "Where am I? What do you want? Where's Bastila?"

"Apparently not that long." Mission muttered. Revan was still until finally she asked, "Why can't I move?" "You've been mostly dead for quite some time now." The old man answered. Revan's eyes darted around (mostly because she couldn't lift her head). "Jolee? Is that you, you old salt?" Jolee laughed at Revan's question, "Indeed it is. To be honest I didn't think I'd have to miracle you back to life until much later." Revan rolled her eyes, "Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up old man. So could someone tell me what's going on here?" "Allow me to explain," Carth said, then paused and answered, "Never mind, there's too much to explain. Let me sum things up. Malak and Bastila's wedding is about a week or so from now. We need your help to figure out how we're going to stop the wedding, rescue Bastila, and get my revenge of Saul Karath."

"And our assets?" Revan asked. "My skill, Canderous' strength, Mission's street smarts, a wookie, and your brain." Revan's head turned towards Carth, "You have got to be kidding me. It's hopeless." "Well hey, your head just moved! That's good right?" Mission stated. Revan's head rolled towards Mission, "I'm completely useless because I'm mostly incapacitated. Even with the rest of your skills, storming the Jedi enclave, which Malak is bound to have guarded and less than a week to plan. And a little head shake is supposed to make me happy?!" "I'm just trying to help!" Mission cried. Revan breathed for a second, "I know Mission. I'm sorry. It's just stressful. Wait a minute. Mission, you had to work for Saul right?"

"Right." Mission answered. "You wouldn't happen to know underground paths to get to the front would you?" After a pause, Mission's face lit up. "I think I could help you out." "So we have the beginning of a plan. Great." Revan said. "But _you_ still have to rest up." Jolee snapped, "I know how you are Revan, but you can't go in there lightsaber flashing and expect to defeat Malak and rescue Bastila!"

And so, under Jolee's orders, Revan waited.

 _Armed Truth: Wait, did this happen in the book?_

 _Author2be3: Uh… no. No it didn't._

 _Armed Truth: Then, why are you doing this?_

 _Author2be3: Just wait, it'll be so sweet you'll get a sugar coma!_

 _Armed Truth: Okay….?_

The good news was because of Revan's strength, she was able to heal up pretty quickly the next day. Although she still couldn't walk, she could get up and use most of her upper body. Most of the time you would find her sitting. After brainstorming a bit of a plan with Mission, she found herself alone, but not too long. For some odd reason, Carth wanted nothing more but to sit next to her and talk. "How are you feeling?" He asked. She sighed, "Besides the aggravation of not being able to do anything… I'm alright." She turned her head toward him, "Have you been feeling alright? I would think you would be anxious to get to Saul already." Carth nodded, "Believe me I am. But, for some odd reason, right now I'm at ease."

Revan smiled, "So I guess you've had some time to think about what I said last time we met, then?" Carth ran a hand through his hair, "Well I have a little." Revan's eyes lit up at that moment, waiting for him to say more, "If I make it out alive on that day. I would… I think I want to learn how to trust people again." "That seems to be working for you and Canderous."

"Besides Canderous though." He said, "I want… I want to know you a little more." Revan blinked a few times. "Why me?" Carth looked her right in eyes and said, "Because… you are an extraordinary woman. No one else has made me think about what I would do after I got my revenge… to see a new future for myself. I guess I just can't stop thinking about that… about you." Revan did her best to hide her red face. "I'm flattered you think so highly of me. What do you want to know?"

The two talked on for hours sharing their lives and interests. For some reason, they just didn't want to be away from each other. They kept talking into the night until they fell asleep. In the morning, Mission went to go and talk to Revan about any new ideas for their attack at the Jedi enclave. "Hey, Reva- whoa…" After what Mission saw, she did her best to stay quiet. Why you may ask? Because Carth and Revan were both asleep, with Revan in Carth's arms. Mission snuck away quickly to go laugh about it to the others.

To this day if you tease Revan about it, she'll say it was because she couldn't move. (And we all know well that's not true.)

 _Author2be3: (looks over at ARMED TRUTH) You okay?_

 _Armed Truth: (screaming into a pillow) ITS SOOOO CUTE!_

 _Author2be3: Told ya' so._

Revan regained her strength much quicker than anyone expected. And for the most part a plan was made. Although she wasn't fully healed yet, Revan knew they were pressed for time and insisted they leave… NOW! Which was a good call on her part seeing as by the time they got there, it was the day of the wedding.

"Bye-bye kids, have fun storming the enclave!" Jolee called. Juhani looked at him, "Do you think they can do it?" Jolee didn't move, "It'll take a miracle." He muttered.

The team headed onto Carth's ship and prepared themselves for the coming wedding crash. Revan herself did her best to remain calm, she did try to ignore the fact she hadn't healed up completely. She still couldn't run, but she made the most of it. This plan had to work. It had to! She had exhausted every other angle to save Bastila. There wasn't any option left.

Thanks to Canderous' previous knowledge about the brute squad clearing the hangers, they knew not to land there. Sure they were farther away from their target, but it kept the plan going. They reached the front gates only to find it heavily guarded.  
"Alright, what do we do now?" Canderous asked. Revan nodded to Mission, which gave her the okay to split off and do her part of the plan. Revan turned to Canderous, "Did you get the cloak I asked for?" Canderous pulled the large black cloak from his backpack. "Alright, Zalbarr, put it on. Then, here's what we'll do next…"

Everything was ready, Mission was in position, Zalbarr was ready, and the only thing left to worry about was Carth's annoyance. "Are you sure this is going to work?" He asked. "Please, Malak's goons will believe anything. I've fooled them before on even more ridiculous grounds than this." Revan answered. She gave Canderous the signal and Zalbarr began to march forward.

Now it was pretty dark outside, so it was hard for the guards to tell what they were looking at. Then they could hear a loud voice call out, "I AM THE TRUE DARK LORD OF THE SITH! THERE WILL BE NO SURVIORS!" The very tall figure began flailing his arms which put the men on edge. They only made a break for it when the tall figure burst into flames and continued to come closer still shouting "I AM THE DARK LORD! NO SURVIORS!"

The guards ran for it. Quickly Canderous worked to put out the fire he started now that he didn't have to shout those threats anymore. That was surprisingly easy. No one came out of that with a starch. Well, yet. They still had to wait for Mission to finish cracking open the doors from the terminal she had to hijack. There was just the lowly Bandon to worry about. "Give us the passkey!" Revan ordered. Nervously Bandon answered, "What passkey?" Canderous smirked, "Zalbarr, rip his arms off." As Zalbarr took a step forward Bandon panicked, "Wait, you mean this passkey! Here!" With that Bandon ran off, and Revan forwarded the passkey to Mission.  
"Everything okay, Mission?" Revan asked her communicator. The doors groaned open. "Does it look like everything's okay?" She responded rater snarky. "Great job Mission!" Revan answered as she _walked_ in. The other's joined up quickly, eager for what to do next. "Alright," Revan began, "Mission, Zalbarr, come with me. We got a wedding to crash. Canderous, Carth, I'll trust you to not do anything stupid while you take out Saul."

As the others began going their separate ways, Carth didn't move just yet. "Hey, Revan." He said getting her attention, "If I don't make it back I just want you to know-" Revan put up her hand, "Now really isn't the best time for this, but…" She pecked his cheek, "Just come back in one piece, okay?" Carth only smiled, "Don't I always?" Revan rolled her eyes and followed after Mission and Zalbarr.

Meanwhile in the Jedi enclave Chapel…

"The Fowce is what brwwings us togwthwr, twdway…"

"*Ahem*, my good man," Malak began, "Just skip to the end."

The impressive clergy man paused, but continued on, "The Fowce, is a dweam wiffin a dweam."  
"Skip to man in wife!" Malak snapped. The clergy man stopped and then said, "Man and Wife." Malak shoved Bastila towards the other council members and ordered they take her to the honeymoon suite where he would arrived shortly after he dealt with the disturbance. Bastila was still too upset to try and fight back. But for some reason, that echo of someone fighting through the enclave in the distance gave hope for some odd reason. However, she didn't have too much time to dwell on that thought as she was being escorted away.

As Malak began searching the halls, Carth and Canderous continued their search throughout the enclave for Saul Kareth. Until finally they came to a four way intersection within the halls, where just before them was the admiral himself. "Carth, it has been far too long since we last spoke." He mused, "I see the recent years have not been kind in your case. I barely recognized you."  
Carth scowled at him. "But I recognize you Saul. I see your face every night even as I promise myself I will kill you for what you did to my home world." Saul held back a chuckle, "Did you learn nothing from your time under me? As a soldier you should understand that casualties are unavoidable. This was an act of war."

Carth was furious. His Mandalorian companion only smiled and watched as Carth fueled his own anger. "It was a cowardly act of betrayal! Your fleet bombed a civilian target into oblivion without warning or provocation. And the blood of those innocent people are on _your hands_!" Saul only scoffed, "In war even the innocent must die. The Sith would not accept me until I proved I had truly turned my back on the Republic by bombing the planet."

There was a heavy pause.

"My wife died in that attack Saul, and for that I swear I'll kill you." In a blind rush of energy Carth charged at Saul. The men were locked in combat for a while, leaving Canderous to watch in awe of the two men's skill. It wasn't until Carth began to overcome Saul's strikes. Fearing for his own life Saul turned and fled, with Carth and Canderous hot on his heels. Saul soon came to a dead end and, realizing he had to fight, took the cowards tactic by preparing a surprise attack on Carth with his dagger. The moment he was in view, Saul launched the small blade and watched as it pierced the lower center of the obnoxious orange jacket.

 _Armed Truth: You're never going to let up, are you?_

 _Author2be3: Shut up! I'm narrating!_

Carth reeled back from the blade breaking through his skin, causing blood to pool. "Coward!" Canderous shouted, along with a string of curses the narrator chooses to exclude. In less than half a second Canderous tossed Carth a medpack while drawing his blaster rifle to fire wildly at Saul Karath. Carth acted quickly, treating the wound under such short time and jumping to his feet. Saul, in the meantime, was dodging all of Canderous shots. Once Carth was finally patched up, he could feel a surge of life come back to him. He bolted past Canderous and furiously swung at Saul, becoming too much for the Admiral to handle. While this was going on Carth kept shouting "I swear I'll kill you!" Swing after swing, strike after strike, Carth's rage could not be countered by Saul's sheer will to survive. Finally after a powerful clash, Carth knocked Saul Karath's blade right out of his hands. Canderous watched in amusement as to what processed next.

"Offer me money." Carth snarled. Saul kept a proud face as he said, "Everything."  
"Power too. Promise me that." Carth added. Furious, Saul answered, "All that I have and more."  
"Offer me anything I ask for."  
"Yes, yes. Name it!" Realizing he had nothing left to do but beg to keep himself alive. Unfortunately for Saul, the time for begging for his life had ended, because at that very moment, Carth delivered the final blow through Saul's heart saying, "I want you dead, you son of a bitch!" Saul fell limp on Carth's blade. Canderous clapped a hand on his companion's shoulder, "Well, then your wife can rest easily, knowing that you've avenged her." He eyed Carth carefully, "So are you going to wait around for your future to happen, or are you going after it?" Carth nodded, "We should go help the others then."

The two rushed on to find the rest of the team. Meanwhile Bastila sat in the honeymoon suite, confused and sad by all that happened. Was she now Malak's wife? Was that faint echo of hope just her foolishness of wanting to see her best friend again? Just then there was a loud bang at the door. Had Malak arrived?! Broken and panicked, Bastila searched for her lightsaber and aimed it at the door. Just then, it was not Malak, but Revan and two other people she didn't recognize. "Hey! Point that thing somewhere else!" Revan jested (sort of). Bastila put her lightsaber away and hugged her best friend.

"Revan, I'm sorry! I got married to Malak." Bastila said bitterly. Revan paused for a moment. "Did you say 'I do'?" Bastila's eyes widened, "Well no. We sort of skipped that part." 'Then you're not married. You didn't agree to it, so you didn't do it." She spoke over her shoulder, "Isn't that right, Malak?"

Everyone turned to find Malak scowling in the hallway. "A mistake that I shall have remedied soon. But now Revan, we fight to the death!" "No!" Revan snapped, "To the pain!"

Malak stopped, "I don't think I'm familiar with that phrase. "Don't worry, I'll use small words so that even you can understand!" She sneered at the tall bald man.

Revan did her best to stride confidently to her opponent. "Do you remember a particular promise you made to Bastila on Korribann?" Malak paused as the answer slowly was coming back to him. "To not harm you-"  
At that moment, Revan swung her lightsaber across Malak's face, "Lest you never use your jaw again! That was for trying to kill me!" Mission turned to Zalbarr in horror upon seeing Malak's jaw now gone. Malak began to reach for his blade but Revan was quick to throw hers up. "Drop. You. Saber!" She ordered.  
Fearing for whatever else Revan could cut off, he put his saber away. Revan turned to the others, "We should leave now. Let the council clean up the rest of this mess."

Just as she turned away, Revan almost collapsed since she still hadn't fully recovered. And it was at that moment, Malak took a chance. He picked up his blade once more, but before he could make another move, Bastila had raised her blade to stop him. His saber was knocked out of his hands instantly. "Even in your pathetic state, you're a coward." She hissed. Revan turned and glared at Malak. But more specifically, she glared at the saber. Revan pulled Malak's blade into her own hand and flicked it on. The crimson tip glowed towards Malak's skull.

"I had my suspicions about you, you snake! You were the Sith Lord all along." Malak glared even harder at Revan, since he was unable to speak. "It's not the Jedi way to kill, but after all you've done… I think you're more of a threat that needs to be neutralized!" Bastila threw her hand up, "But is this right? How do you know this isn't just your anger?"

Revan sighed, "Because I'm thinking of what else he had done, what he was trying to do from within the Jedi. I won't take the risk of keeping him here." And with that, Revan plunged Malak's saber through his head.

 _Armed Truth: That was REALLY dark…_

 _Author2be3: Yeah, it was. But here's the thing: If they don't kill Malak, he might still have lackies to come and rescue him. I figured this was staying true to the KotOR ending. Plus, (spoiler) if Westley actually had killed Humperdinck in the book, he would have never come back to try and kidnap/kill Buttercup again and kill the others._

 _Armed Truth: So this is your rant on the ending of_ The Princess Bride _?_

 _Author2be3: You know me so well!_

 _Armed Truth: So, if you're not going with_ The Princess Bride _ending, how is this going to end?_

 _Author2be3: I… I actually hadn't thought of that._

 _Armed Truth: Seriously? So what, we're just going to end with one big blank page?!_

 _Author2be3: (shrugs) Sure, why not?_

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 _Armed Truth: No!_

 _Author2be3: What now?_

 _Armed Truth: We can do better than this!_

 _Author2be3: Alright fine! You take over then!_

 _Armed Truth: Gladly!_

 **With Malak defeated, Bastila was freed from his dark clutches.**

 _Author2be3: Wait, why do you get the cool text?_

 _Armed Truth: Because I'm narrating now! Shush!_

 **The council was forgiving of Revan's actions of killing Malak, seeing as she seemed pretty reasonable about defeating him. As for the others, Canderous was able to reunite the Mandalorian clans, Mission and Zalbarr ran off to Taris to cause any kind of mischief, Bastila remained within the order, and Carth sought out his future… with Revan.**

 **And they all lived happily ever after!**

 _Armed Truth: There!_

 _Author2be3: Eh… five outta ten._


End file.
